


Indecision

by faithtastic



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Breakup, F/F, Mage Trevelyan - Freeform, Spoilers, all the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 06:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3109754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithtastic/pseuds/faithtastic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the duel with Otranto, Trevelyan makes a momentous error. Back at Skyhold, she tries to do damage control.</p><p>Contains spoilers for the Josephine romance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Indecision

"Inquisitor!" Josephine exclaims, hands leaping to her chest in fright. In doing so she drops the armful of papers she'd been carrying, pages scattering across the floor of her quarters.

They both bend to gather the papers. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Evelyn says, as she reaches for a sheaf at the same time as Josephine. Their fingers brush inadvertently and Josephine flinches, recoils so fast, that it makes Evelyn's stomach drop.

This is unbearable. Just days ago they were kissing in this same room, then came the betrothal, that ludicrous duel, and now everything is ruined.

"You shouldn't be in here. This is my private room." Oh, there it is. A flicker of anger, one that is quickly suppressed. Josephine won't look at her, keeping her head bowed as she shuffles the papers into some semblance of order.

"I know. It was wrong of me to ambush you like this but our dear spymaster has blocked all my other attempts to talk with you."

Josephine gives no reaction so Evelyn takes a fortifying breath. "What happened in Val Royeaux, I need you to know that I deeply regret it. If you'll let me explain, I - "

"I think we have already said all there is to say on the matter, Your Worship." That epithet seems to pain her, but not half as much as it wounds Evelyn. "Now, if you please, I should like to retire for the evening."

"Josephine..." Evelyn tries again but is halted by the implacable chill of dark eyes finally turned towards her. If she feels skewered by Josephine's rebuffal then this is what will surely finish her off.

"A good night to you, Lady Trevelyan."

Defeated, Evelyn nods and gets up. She moves towards the door slowly, leaden with a heavy heart, and pauses with a hand on the doorknob.

She looks over her shoulder. Josephine's back is to her.

"I'm aware that I've missed my chance, that what we had was irrepairably broken by my actions. I was foolish and I apologise."

Josephine's listening, Evelyn can see it in the slight incline of her head. She still hasn't moved from her kneeling position on the floor. It provides Evelyn with a faint glimmer of hope. "It may be over between us but you should know that I still have feelings for you."

The ambassador half-turns, her face in profile. "How can you say... This is too..." She appears to gather her resolve. "No."

"No?"

Josephine is spurred into action, rising quickly to her feet. She strides forward, the purposeful gait a bleak reminder of that day in Val Royeaux. Evelyn shrinks back slightly against the door. 

"How can you so publicly declare your indifference then change your mind on a whim?"

"Indifference? A whim! Dear Maker." Evelyn scrubs a hand across her face. There are hot tears brimming in her eyes, threatening to spill over. "I'm fucking _in love_ with you!"

The other woman startles; at the swearing or confession of love, Evelyn isn't certain. "You - what?"

"I love you. I've never felt this way about anyone, Josephine, and I - I'm more petrified of having you think poorly of me than I am of Corypheus and his blighted demon army." Evelyn sees the confusion and consternation in Josephine's expression and continues. "I'm the black sheep, the runt of the litter, from a line of backwater lords. Hardly a proper match for someone of your station. When I realised how I'd embarrassed you by instigating the duel with Otranto... And you were right, it was reckless to endanger myself like that."

An exasperated noise comes from Josephine as she begins to pace. "Do you think me only concerned with my reputation, Inquisitor? I... cared for you very deeply, regardless of the particulars of your lineage. It was not your place to decide what is best for me or take matters into your own hands." She stills, shaking her head. "I was angry that you ignored my wishes, yes, but moreso I feared for your life. A Mage duelling against an expert swordsman? With rapiers? What in Thedas were you thinking?"

"I couldn't stand the idea of waiting months, years, however long it took to withdraw from the engagement, to be with you." Evelyn ran a hand through her hair. "And look where it got me. I've lost you regardless."

Josephine is silent now, staring at the floor as she wrings her hands. She neither confirms or denies Evelyn's statement. That's something, surely?

"Perhaps when this matter with Corypheus is concluded and I have extracted myself from the betrothal, we can discuss our... situation again." Josephine says, her words delivered in the carefully modulated tone of the Inquisition's chief diplomat, no sign of the woman who once sighed and blushed under Evelyn's attentions. "Until then I bid you goodnight, Lady Trevelyan."

There's a finality to it that Evelyn doesn't have the energy to fight against. Not in this moment. She nods, trying to put a brave face on, despite the way her lip is trembling, and turns to go.

For all Leliana's dire warnings about the consequences of breaking Josephine's heart, Evelyn had never thought to guard her own.

**Author's Note:**

> I maintain that it's Josephine that calls off the relationship, not really the Inquisitor. That's my headcanon and I'm sticking to it.


End file.
